You didn’t even know we were here! I’ve been having a hard time writing the last few weeks. I’m not sure what the issue is entirely, whether I burned myself out at the beginning, whether I’m overstimulated and can’t focus or whether, as I was thinking today, it’s just better for me to enjoy the moments in the moment and share to my next best ability later. Regardless of which of those it is, it’s been a hard sell for me here tonight in the Lisbon Holiday Inn Express on the eve of the eve of our departure from Europe to sit and write some. I think it helps that Cameron has been writing and reflecting too.
Before I sat to write, I tried to meditate and get into the moment, but all I could do was take myself for one last spin around our trip. I’m grateful that I still recall all of the ‘holy shit’ moments, many of the details and at a prompt, can resurrect still more of the ones that have already been lost due to natural selection. I appreciate that my phone holds thousands of photos and my computer many thousands more so that later, when I’m trying to remember some little detail, perhaps I’ll have a picture to remind me.
This has been the trip of many firsts, I suppose there’s a book in there as well. Every day a new adventure peeked around the corner, encouraging us along. And every day we met it with a newfound resilience that comes from the previous day or even week’s encounter. We were talking tonight about how we’d answer if someone were to ask what our favourite thing about the whole trip was and there is no one way to answer that without some type of qualification. Favourite holy shit moment, bone house, highway, castle? I spared the exhaustive list but you can see why it would be difficult to come up with a favourite one thing. Except, that it wasn’t that hard once I put my mind to it. It was the first time we’ve spent a month together and my favourite thing is that we spent a whole month together and came out the other side still in love ❤
As I left the hotel room in Portimão, Portugal this morning I was teary at the idea of leaving yet another hotel after yet another wonderful span of time in an amazing location. Not every hotel departure triggered this reaction, rather, just a few places I felt connected to. In this particular case I attribute it to my affinity for the ocean. Leaving it behind is always difficult and is likely one reason I bring shells back. Always.
Being honest, some of the tears resulted from the reminder that our trip is coming to a close soon. I was aware that we were going to drive our last European highway, see our last sights and visit our last bones. Luckily (no, fortunately) we came across a castle in the middle of nowhere which soothed my adventuresome soul and lifted my spirits substantially. Our philosophical conversation during the drive contributed to my positive state of being as well. So many things to try, so many projects to get going on and the only place to accomplish them all is home. I read a beautiful meditation this morning from Richard Wagamese’s book titled, “Embers: One Ojibway’s Meditations,” that assuaged some pain and reminded me to be thankful for the experience as opposed to sad at its passing.
“It has been proven in my life that when your prayers are about gratitude for what is already here, Creator and the universe ALWAYS send more. Always. When you pray for what you WANT, Creator and the universe only hear the wanting, and that’s what you create – more wanting. Be thankful, offer prayers of gratitude for the blessings already in your life, whether health, prosperity or productivity, and more blessings will come.”
~ Richard Wagamese, Embers, One Ojibway’s Meditations
I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity, I am ecstatic to have been given so much material to write and reflect about and I can’t wait to share it all. It’s just going to take longer than I expected.